Ever get to that point with a family tradition where you question whether it’s past its prime? I mean, it might have been fun and memorable for years, but now, for whatever reason, it’s just . . . not?
I’m there this Christmas.
No, it’s not Elf on the Shelf. That exploded onto the scene long after my boys would fall for such Christmas trickery. (But quite honestly, I’m thoroughly amused at all the adult-version naughty Elf on the Shelf poses I see splattered all over the Internet.)
It’s our Christmas Advent Calendar, once a favorite family tradition and now just a red-and-green reminder to “do Christmas,” hounding me daily like a telemarketer.
As the tradition goes, the Advent Calendar marks the days until Christmas, usually starting on December 1 and continuing to December 24. We started when our two boys, now teenagers, were little. But has our Advent Calendar jumped the shark? It might just be time to lay this tradition to rest—or at least reinvent it.
For years, my boys looked forward to December 1, the day our Advent Calendar would “go live.” For our countdown-to-Christmas, I would fill each little calendar pocket with a Chinese-fortune-cookie-size paper highlighting the day’s special Christmas treat or activity. Ranging from “get peppermint milkshake” and “watch Polar Express” to “sleep under the Christmas tree” and “do Christmas arts and crafts with Grandma,” we did it all for 24 festive days. Twenty. Four. Days.
Twenty four days of baking and reading and singing and drawing and gluing and glittering ourselves into a Christmas frenzy. Back in the pre-Pinterest days, I had a dedicated Christmas binder filled with enough recipes, crafts and games to make even Santa a little jealous.
Now, I’m not crying “bah humbug” just yet, but that’s a lot of Christmas spirit to pack into the tightly filled schedule of a busy family with two teens.
When the boys were younger, I just put the Christmas fortune in any calendar pocket. But as they got older, and their schedules more complicated, the planning involved to just get together and bake some damn cookies is bringing out the Scrooge in me.
It starts out simply enough, as I stand before my calendar with a simple directive from my festively fonted fortune: Bake Christmas cookies. Visions of chocolate chips dance in my head as I recall past Christmas baking sessions of smiles and flour everywhere and slightly burnt cookies by the time we made it to batch #4.
Time to get this on the calendar. Hmmm, let’s bake cookies on Monday night after dinner. Wait, no, Parker’s got a soccer game at 6 p.m. and won’t be back until about 8 p.m. and then he’s got to eat dinner and finish his homework. Nobody will want to start baking at 9:30 p.m. OK, we’ll bake cookies on Tuesday. Nope, I’ve got a rare girls night out planned—not a chance in hell I’m cancelling that. How about Wednesday? Same problem as Monday. Thursday? Nope, Trevor has a night class from 6-9 p.m. Friday will work. No, Kevin and I have that Christmas party to go to. How about Saturday? Perfect! Wait, no, Trevor has to work on a couple of art projects and a Power Point presentation for school. Later? Kevin and Parker are volunteering to help at the Christmas tree fundraiser. Sunday? Kevin’s working on that plumbing project again, which means there might be some Christmas cursing involved. Better not be in earshot of that. And Monday brings us back to the school-homework-practice grind again. Fa-freakin-la! I just want to bake some damn cookies with my kids!
And that’s just one of 24 “festively fun” days to plan out. Um, no. Not gonna happen this year. Sorry, boys, but momma’s losing her mind trying to wedge in daily Christmas fun. With everyone at work or school during the day and then headed in different directions most nights of the week, our Advent Calendar is officially biting the reindeer dust this year.
But that doesn’t mean we’re nixing holiday fun altogether. We started merrily multitasking, like watching Elf while we decorate the tree while we drink hot chocolate. And we saved most of the fun stuff for the weekend, because “cramming in Christmas” on a weekday makes it anything but the most wonderful time of the year.
We just needed to revise our tradition into something a little more realistic. For our family right now, this seems doable:
What holiday tradition has your family outgrown?
I agree that some changes have to be made as the family grows. But, I bet everything you did up to the present time will always be remembered by your children no matter what their ages! Most of our Christmas memories occur while we were young and stay with us always! I know my best memories are from the time I was very young, baking cookies w/Mom, visiting grandparents!, decorating the tree and house, wrapping presents, etc. It was a happy time!
Hopefully they will fondly remember our Advent Calendar tradition, even though it’s entering “retirement.” Childhood memories are the best!
Shirl, I totally agree with you! Another great job Lisa. When your children get older and have families of their own doing exactly what you and your mom get them as they grew up.
Thanks, Aunt Carole. Hopefully the tradition will carry on with my boys when they have their own families.
As always you’re on the mark with your observations. Lisa … there becomes a time to just start new traditions. I think eating Cookie Dough Ice Cream is brilliant !
For several years in a row , we celebrated every Sunday in Advent with six families, telling a children’s version of the Christmas story and lighting candles to the kids delight . ! EVERY Sunday evening during December! After the 10th year or so … it was a major struggle to get all the kids together , so we starting doing just one Sunday in December, and celebrated all of the “candles” on one night … and then it just had to fade away … but , they are some of the fondest memories my family has of Christmas . now we are all going to the kids weddings! I think we might start over with our granddaughter Avery now … Maybe we have at least ten years before she gets too busy .
You’re right, Paula. That’s just part of the kids growing up, I guess. I did feel guilty about it, tho, because the boys ask me every year when I’m going to put up our Advent Calendar. But putting it up and being able to actually DO the daily activities is another story. So most of the daily Christmas stuff is fading away…although we can ALWAYS find time to get peppermint milkshakes at Chik-Fil-A.